The Reign of King Jeff - Day 2

The Reign of King Jeff – Day 2

Part 1

After a decent night’s sleep, I’ve decided to upend the public tranquility again by offering another opinion. This time it will be my thoughts on male homosexuality, to wit: This kind of activity is not best described as two men sharing a meaningful relationship; any guy who has a friend he can trust has a meaningful relationship with another man. It is not best described as two men sharing a home and expenses; I did that with a buddy for a year and a half, and we’re both so straight you can draw a line with us. It is not best described as two men sharing a peck on the cheek; there are a number of cultures where this is normal, although I think it’s kind of weird. No, male homosexuality is best described as one man with an erect penis ejaculating into the anus or mouth of another man. My opinion? It’s indescribably disgusting and perverted. Don’t waste my time telling me it’s “just another lifestyle”. “Just another lifestyle” is choosing to eat your salad after the main course instead of before.

Now, on to the things I’m getting paid for.

I read something the other day by a fine fellow who suggested a Constitutional amendment that would reduce the salaries of Congress members to the average of a family of four in the region they serve. I like the principal, but not the method of execution. (Boy, now there’s a turn of the phrase when talking about Congress) Frankly, the idea of the current Congressional lineup getting their hands on the Constitution is a bit disconcerting. There’s no guarantee that that crowd wouldn’t call for a Constitutional Convention, and then we really would have to have an armed march on Washington. Instead, I think I’ll insist on some good ol’ legislation to accomplish the goal. Oh, by the way, contrary to a widely disseminated lie, Congress members don’t get a super-cushy retirement plan, wherein they continue getting paid their retiring salary for the rest of their lives; they just get a cushy retirement plan that pays them a lot more than you. (I would say you and me, but seeing how I’m King, that would require some real chutzpah.) They get a combination of Social Security, which they have been paying into since 1984, and membership in either the Civil Service Retirement System, or the Federal Employees Retirement System, depending on when they were elected. CSRS can be converted to FERS if the member so decides. In response to their query, the Congressional Research Service sent some answers on the subject to the Idaho Observer (observer@coldreams.com), including the following:

An example was given for a Rep. or Senator retiring after Dec., 2002, with 26 years of service (7 under CSRS, 19 under FERS). With an ending “high-3” salary of $138,233, their annual pension would be $72,442 per year.

As of 1999, the average SS retiree received $804 per month, or $9,648 annually after retiring at age 65.

Not bad work, if you can find it. No matter; I’m going to scuttle the entire Social Security program anyway, because the Constitution doesn’t give the United States government the authority to engage in any such activity. I’ll be calling the S.S.A. later today to tell them to start figuring out how much every living enrollee has paid into this Ponzi scheme, calculate the interest, and send a check for the total amount to the victims. As for those victims of this treasonous fraud who have passed away, the check will go to the heirs. At that point, the individuals will have to take the responsibility for their retirement upon themselves, much as they do when it comes to brushing their teeth.