Life, the Universe, and All That Jazz...

In the grand scheme of things, this blog is just a drop in the bucket. There are men and women far more knowledgable than myself out there trying to get a message across, and most of them disagree with me, or seem to. I read the Capitol Hill Pundits Blog daily, and the things I see as issues are hardly ever touched on. The Congressional Blog is much the same. This leads me to believe that either I am delusional (and that IS an option), or that noone in DC is in touch with my world. So I'm going to give you guys a picture of my little bubble.

I grew up in a small town and went to a tiny public school. I graduated salutatorian in a class of six people. My father was a truck driver, and was often a guest speaker at churches across Texas. I was raised in a VERY strict environment-what we would call an ultra-conservative household these days. We were as far to the right politically as we could be.

My father died when I was 16 years old, and I went buck wild. I eventually joined a band, and even made a little money playing music. I did odd jobs, drank a lot, and expirimented with all the drugs I could get my hands on. All I knew about dope was that it was bad. I blew through relationships and friends and jobs like most people change socks. I lived in a moral vacuum for several years.

When I started having children, I had to grow up. There was no other option. I worked construction, and eventually joined the Army National Guard. I did my weekend drills, busted my back at work, and made a fair living. I was terrible with my money and my credit, so I worked all the overtime that I could to make ends meet. There was no health insurance, no vacation (just the yearly lay-off), and no retirement. I traveled to where the work was and came home when I could.

Then one day I got a factory job. It was like I had joined a whole new society. I still worked overtime (as much as the union would allow). We had health insurance. I earned vacation days. I felt like a successful man.

The deployments started for us in 1999. I did not go on the first one, so I kept working at the factory. Immediately after 911, we were sent overseas for several months. After that little adventure, I was not about to go back to factory work or construction, so I went to school. We got sent to Iraq a year later. After Iraq there was some college and then Operation Katrina Relief. After katrina, there was some college and then Recruiting. Last year I hired on full timefor the National Guard. I make about twice the median income for the county I live in, my health insurance is fairly affordable and really good, and my education benfits are still available.

My career is not exactly on the fastest track, but I have opportunities from time to time to advance myself, and I plan to. I will retire a little early and be comfortable in my old age.

None of my friends outside of the military have a plan right now. All of my former co-workers at the factory are out of a job. All of my former co-workers with the construction company are out of a job. NAFTA and CAFTA have cost the Batesville, Arkansas area somewhere around 1800 jobs in 10 years. The only people who seem to give a damn are people like me who could never run for office, never mind the affordability of it, we couldn't bear the scrutiny. I bet you could find a hundred people that would claim to have done drugs with me.

You see, I'm no worse than say, Teddy Kennedy, but I want to buck the system, so I would be crucified in that environment. So would many of my readers. So who can represent us? Who can make the changes that we need here in real America?

I do not regret too many of my choices. I am the man I am today because of my history. I cannot imagine that I would have given a rat's ass about any of you if I had gone to law school and then into politics when I was younger.

But I bet I would have been electable...

Happy Shiny People

Why do liberals seem so happy and hopeful (unless they are speaking of Pres. Bush)?

Because being stupid is a lot like being high...

Don't worry, I'm doing a piece on the Republicans/conservatives next. Right now I want to talk about the mindless drivel I've been reading on the Capitol Hill Pundits' Blog (Commentary in D.C. link to your right). This blog has conservative and liberal bloggers, and they get pretty wound up at times. Its worth a read if you have the time.

Anyway, several liberals are proclaiming a new and glorious world when the Democrats win the next elections. I believe that they are either stupid, or just so hopeful that they refuse to see the truth. I am not currently afflicted with either of these conditions, so here I go...

Here are a few simple things to keep in mind...
1. We will not solve the problems of AIDS, poverty, war, famine, or crime by voting for a man or woman who claims to be able to solve these problems. Politicians make promises in order to get elected. I make a lot of claims here, but in reality I lay the solutions back on to you, Faithful Reader. Any jackass who claims that he/she or their political party can solve these problems for you is full of bovine droppings.

2. Democrats have no platform, and are running on the sole idea that they are not the Republicans. (Don't worry, I plan to give the republicans a fine analysis later.)

3. They all made the same promises last time. (and the time before that, and the time before that)

You see, any group that proclaims that they can bring about a great new world is blowing smoke straight up your...
Well, you get the idea. Here's part of the problem-The government wants us to be dependent on them. This feeds the current cycle. You know, they get to keep a fairly easy job (maybe not easy, but a nice job with perks), they get to line their pockets in roundabout ways, and they get power, a thing as addictive as crystal meth or heroin.

As I've often said, the glorious new world is up to us. We have to take action to stop the things that are going wrong with America. The first step is to take back our power-the power of the vote. The only solution that I can think of ( and I certainly didn't think of it first) is to vote out the incumbents at every election until they get the idea. Once we have made ourselves clear, once they get the message that we won't tolerate anymore of this corruption, partisanship, or just plain idiocy, then and only then will they start to do what we want them to. I truly believe that it would only take about six years for the United States to turn around if we simply voted out every incumbent at every election.

One thing is for sure- Neither the republicans or the Democrats are going to change their behavior without intervention.

Shooby Dooby Doo...

Tonight I resume my candidacy for King of North America.

I shall prove my worth to you, my potential subjects, by allowing you to ask of me anything that you wish. Present to me a problem that this great nation faces, and I will give you a practical and economically sound solution.

I dare you...

Let's try This Again...

here's the thing-Nobody really listens to you or me anymore. When's the last time a cop or a judge wanted your opinion? When's the last time a poll showed a public opinion that you thought was a realistic view of American Public Opinion?

I just want to do a little experiment. This is as much to prove something to me as to you.

I want you to imagine that we all took an unannounced day off. Every cop, every fireman, every truck driver, factory worker, CNA, CPA, social worker, grocery store clerk, construction worker, etc. If every working-class American just sat down one day and refused to participate, what kind of effect would that have on the economy? On international trade? On the media and our government?

Who runs this country? Who takes out the trash, cooks our meals, guards us in our sleep? (sorry, had to throw a little fight club in there)

We do.

Who votes, pays taxes, keeps the country running?

We do.

In order to remind the powers-that-be that we are, indeed, still running the show, we should stop doing what we do for one day. All of us.

Impossible, you say? Not at all. Unlikely? That all depends on how many people get convinced that it is a good idea.

So now we get down to details.

We want to take the day off on Friday, October 22nd, 2010. We want no legislators or government officials involved in this campaign. This is a holiday in protest of crooked government policy and corruption in the United States Congress. This is neither a conservative or liberal act. This is not a Republican or Democrat plan. This is an attempt at a united protest of our failing government.

Pass it on...

My Smart-Ass Attempt at Activism

OK, let's see how far we can push the envelope...

I, the Great and Wise King Bulldog23A, being bored with the status quo, and having nothing else worthwhile to do at this very moment, do officially declare that on October 22nd, 2011 no person who is a citizen of the United States, and who has been dissatisfied with the government of the United States, will show up to nor call in to work.

This I decree in the name of all smart-ass Americans, and also my wife, the aforementioned newly declared holiday being our 17th wedding anniversary.

Somebody write this up in nice talk and e-mail it around. If we get three hundred thousand people to commit to it, I'll actually run for Governor of Arkansas on my own dime.

Just a Few Thoughts...

First, that car is the new Shelby. It will run you about 60k, but it sho looks sweet.

Now to the wonderful lunatic fanaticism that you came for...


I was in Iraq for around nine months last time. I saw a lot of things that I had never seen before. I got to wade in sewage (good times!), some people tried to blow me up (repeatedly), I got shot at (once or twice), and I got to know the guys in my company better than we ever wanted to know each other.

I came home a little wigged out, and I still have nightmares on occasion. To the day I die, the sound of a car horn will piss me off (ask any OIF vet). I'm a little twitchy when it comes to unexpected loud noises, but I'm getting better every day.

I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.

I feel like I came home with a new attitude towards the truth, and a very low tolerance for BS. Don't get me wrong, I'm still full of it. I just don't think that my president or congressman should be full of it.

You see, the word politician has become synonymous with liar, or disappointment. In the meantime the word citizen has become synonymous with fool, or sheep. I put up with it, you put up with it, it is just the way it is...

In Iraq, most of the civilians were kind of resigned to the fact that they had no control over what was happening around them. They had no pride in their national heritage. They had no faith in their government (past or present). They were caught up in silly tribal conflicts, wrapped up in differences of faith, and bogged down in the details of everyday life.

In other words, they are just like us.

The difference is that we still have the ability to make things change-without the use of RPGs and IEDs. We can raise hell, get involved, blah, blah, blah...

Here's the thing, though: most of us have limited our involvement to occasionally posting a comment on a blog like this, or just agreeing with some jerk who isn't being brilliant so much as he is pointing out what should be obvious. The time has come to stop acting like sheep. It is one thing to actually recognize the appropriate time to act, another entirely to take the necessary action.

At this point, the necessary action is mostly about sending the right message to our illustrious leaders.

I would love to hear what all (three) of you think about it.

If I Were the King of the Forest...

When I'm King, I'll make some changes.

Here's how I would do it:

Congress will only be able to pass one item at a time. There will be no unrelated attachments to any bill. In other words, "pork" is disallowed.

I would propose a constitutional amendment reducing Congressional salaries to the average income of a family of four within the state/territory/district that they respectively represent.
(see post titled "One Simple Solution", my very first post on this blog)

I would hire economists (is that a word?) to fix the budget.

We would do whatever it took to get those british sailors and marines back.

We would concentrate our military in Iraq on oil field security, and gas would be about $1.20 a gallon, because we would own it all.

Anyway, you get the picture.

Now, enough fantasy. Here is what we can do:

We really can get Congress to repeal NAFTA. We just need to get organized and raise hell.

We really can get the border secured. We just need to get organized and raise hell.

We really can get rid of crooked politicians. All we have to do is vote them out consistently. Eventually they would take the hint. If we got organized and raised hell they would get the message quicker.

Are you catching the recurring theme here?

Honest, hard working men and women in this country need to unite. If you don't think that we can make a difference, then they have us where they want us.

Look at America's Gay population. They got organized, I mean really organized in the late Seventies. They got a lobby together, they started pulling strings and greasing palms, and now they have a powerful voice in this country. Only 7% of the population claims to be gay.

All they did was get organized and raise hell.

Dream a Bigger Dream

I have stood on a dormant volcano in Guatemala, the only place in the world where you can see the Atlantic and the Pacific at the same time.

I have seen the Pyramids and the Sphinx in Egypt.

I have patrolled the villages and city streets of Iraq.

I have visited sixteen countries, some for the Army, some on my own, and I have seen incredible things. Still nothing compares to my home.

We have something here that can be found nowhere else on Earth. Call it pride, or spirit, or freedom. We are quick to jump into a discussion of right and wrong. We are quick to rebel against injustice. Even those who would not pick up a gun for this country will raise their voices in anger or defiance if they feel that they are being wronged.

I love this country. Its not the woods or mountains or praries. It isn't the grand landmarks or the beautiful views. I love the people of these United States.

There are problems here, and they must be addressed. Not by politicians, but by the people. So address them here. Here you have an open forum to complain or argue any and every point that could possibly be of any importance to the People of the United States of America. Maybe the President doesn't care what you have to say. Bill Richardson certainly doesn't. There may be few (if any) Congressmen left that care to hear what you have to say. I care. Tell me your side of it. Explain to me what it means to be an American in your bubble. Post what you think are the most important problems facing the next Administration. Post solutions to problems. I'll respond when I want to argue, or maybe just to clarify a point. I have an idea that the powers that be are about to start paying attention to little forums like this.

Teddy or Me

"I want to know about the firefight at the border that is being kept so damn quiet. So tell me, what do you think really went on there? I would say it was a test to see if we really had the guts for a fight and it just proved that we did not. Thanks for putting the handcuffs on!! I understand that you may not want a bunch of loose cannons running around the border with automatic weapons but you had better start thinking about what you need to do. This was a test and we failed. BUT, let's make sure to give them boys a medal or two to
a) make sure they keep quiet about what really went on.
and b) to make all the other boys down there know what they need to do to protect the political bullshit that comes along with protecting our border. "-Anonymous Comment on my blog directed to Gov Bill richardson and Gov Tom Vilsack ( both presidential candidates at the time of the post, both potentially good candidates, and both too cowardly to respond to the questions posed by my readers...)

At least the T-shirt company was bold enough to talk directly to me. Richardson and Vilsack both just stopped responding to my e-mails.

Do you want a President who is afraid to respond to your tough questions? We need a president with balls that clank. That leaves you only two options. Me, or we dig up Teddy Roosevelt.

Reasons I'm better than Teddy Roosevelt:

1. I'm alive, he's not. Its unfair, but still an advantage.

2. well, #1 is really the only one I got.

Let's try a different approach.

Reasons I'm better than any politician running (arrogant, aren't I?):

1. I help to run a household, so I am already better at economics than anyone in the House or Senate.

2. I believe in screwing everyone else to take care of my people. The current (and past) administration(s) have a similar policy, which is to say they will screw everyone, including their own, to take care of their interests.

3. I don't believe in doing anything half-assed (that includes planning).

4. I like puppies.

5. I believe in helping neighbors.

6. I believe that the measure of a man should be more about work ethic and fatherhood than anything else.

7. I believe that war is ugly, and so should be fought and won with quick, decisive action. This leaves less room for political mucking, and also just gets the job done.

8. I believe that prison should suck worse than the Army.

9. I believe that the Army should suck worse than teaching at a public school.

10. I believe that Jerry Falwell is a sexual deviant and a moron.

11. I believe that I can make the world a better place for my children to live in.

12. I believe that we could grow enough corn in North America to end our dependence on foreign oil.

13. I'm funny (sometimes).

14. The anonymous comment above is just about my favorite comment on the entire illegal immigration situation. Whoever said that should e-mail me and let me know who to give proper credit.

So you see, I am the obvious choice. Not because I am a breath of fresh air, or new and shiny, but because I am a lot like you (only funny)...

Tell your friends.

Reasons to Vote for Me

When I'm King, I mean President, I will solve many of America's problems in the first year. Some of my solutions will seem harsh, but that is just because they are harsh.

NAFTA and CAFTA will be repealed. All US owned corporate entities will have 18 months to bring their assets back inside the United States. The first ten companies to reestablish US plants will get a 50% tax break for 4 years. All foreign-owned companies that wish to build manufacturing plants in the US will be given a 40% tax break for ten years.

Iraq- I'm tired of fooling with it. In order to avoid a non-binding resolution ( which is disapproval on paper, and a waste of time ), we will pull out of Iraq. Half of the troops in Iraq will be moved to Afghanistan, and the other half will be moved to the border between the United States and Mexico. The United States Air Force will begin strategic air strikes in Syria and Iran as punishment for their involvement in Iraq. In Afghanistan, all factions of Al Qaida and the Taliban will be hunted down and destroyed. I will allow raids into Pakistan under certain conditions.

The Army will use engineer assets to build a wall (where possible) along the border. Seasoned combat troops will patrol the more difficult terrain to prevent illegal border-crossings. The Border Patrol will be set up in 100 man teams and will go from city to city collecting illegal immigrants (with focus on drug dealers and gangs) and sending them back to Mexico. Mexico will be denied any foreign aid money until they have a workable plan for a public education system and a plan for industrialization. All US law-enforcement officials currently incarcerated for "civil rights violations" against illegal immigrants will be released, reimbursed for lost wages, and reinstated.

All Muslims who openly support jihadism will be deported from the US and sent to Syria and Iran. Any criminal act deemed an act of terrorism by a jury of US citizens will be punished by death. The only exception to this will be for terrorists who are willing to name no less than five other terrorists, and this information must lead to five arrests and convictions.

Convicted pedophiles will be deported to Iran and Syria.

Bigger and Better Things

I have decided that Mexico isn't where I want to be, so after careful deliberation, I have decided to launch an investigatory commitee into my possible candidacy for President of the United States of America (Estados Unidos de America)!

I know, its exciting.

Anyway, here's how this is going to work...We'll need to decide what the issues actually are. I'll need your help with that. Then, we'll come up with a plan of action, like who is going to rob a bank to help finance this thing or whatever. We'll decide who gets what cushy cabinet post (no, G. Dockins is NOT the SecDef, he's Homeland Security and Mutant Affairs), and then we'll go public.

On a serious note, I need feedback, folks. We need to decide what the issues are. Post comments detailing what you see as the real set of issues that must be addressed by American politicians. We gotta get together on a platform, then we'll try to get their attention. Tell your friends, tell your coworkers, tell your classmates, whatever. Let me hear what you think about the current state of the Union...